This is me, happy that I finished the new book!

I’ve just put the finishing touches on my new wedding book, which is going to help you get lots of free wedding items the right way, sacrificing nothing, making no mistakes, not selling out, not avoiding wedding vendors, and not winding up with regrets. Quite the teaser, eh? Since this book won’t be out until the end of 2012, I didn’t want to leave all of you newly-engaged brides out in the cold. So here’s  little sneak peek at just one of the many categories of wedding freebies in my new book:

You’ve got to enter contests! As many as you can find! Brides are said to have a weird form of natural luck, and you might just magnetize…oh…a free honeymoon or a free wedding dress. That’s about $6,000 saved right there in some instances. Perhaps $2,000 or more, depending on the contest you enter.

Here’s my guide to the top types of contests and sweepstakes you need to enter now, and have your mom and bridesmaids enter for you, if they will. Some of those freebie prizes, after all, can benefit them. There are a ton of new contests out there that give the mom a new dress, or snag a free girls’ getaway to Vegas, which saves your bridesmaids serious money. So the more people you have clicking on Enter for you, the better. I got my husband in on the action when we were engaged, and we won some pretty sweet deals. Okay, so one of them was a lip gloss, but it was an awesome lip gloss.

1. Contests on bridal magazine sites. Bridal Guide has lots of contests going on throughout the year – free honeymoons and trips, gowns for your bridesmaids, beauty and jewelry swag. Check in at your favorite bridal magazines’ sites, or sign up for their newsletter, check their Facebook and Twitter posts, and click, click, click.

2. Contests on major bridal blogs. Right now, I have a giveaway going on Broke-Ass Bride in which you can win copies of my new books for the mother of the bride and for wedding weekend events, and 5 pretty blue floral Kodak cameras. Just about every major bridal blog — you know, the ones that win Bride Tide’s best-of awards — runs contests and giveaways all the time, and you might find that all of those too-busy, distracted other brides out there forget to enter them. So you might be one of 30 brides in the running to win mega-prizes.

3. Contests on so-called ‘smaller bridal blogs,’ the specialist blogs that are awesome but don’t yet have 150,000 followers. They may just be starting out, and they’re landing some fabulous prize deals from their partners and offering their products up as prizes as well. With a smaller entry pool, your chances of winning go up.

4. Hit the women’s magazines’ websites, for the mother lode of cash prize contests. At www.bhg.com, you’ll find lots of sweepstakes to win $5,000, $10,000, $15,000, $25,000 or more. Plus free trips. And blenders. They like to give away blenders. Don’t mind if I do. This link will take you to contests at their sister magazines, such as Parents. Even if you’re not a parent, click on those contests. You’re still eligible.

5. Bridal show giveaways. I can hardly believe how awesome the prizes are at The Wedding Salon! Valuable trips, designer gowns, designer cakes…it’s just mind-bending…but oh so thrilling! Attend this upscale show, and you could walk out of there needing a bodyguard. Any quality bridal show is going to offer terrific prizes, from honeymoons to elite photography packages, the works. The key is to stay until the very end when they do the winner drawings. Winning tickets have been pulled, with no bride in sight, and they go on to the next winner. One group won that girls’ getaway weekend after three not-there brides’ tickets were pulled. It pays to stay.

6. Network giveaways. We’re talking the HGTV Dream House, where you can win a house, a car and six figures in cash, plus all of the housewarming gifts that viewers have voted for you to get. Tons of network shows have giveaways, so follow them on social media, bookmark their entry pages, and do as I do…

I start each morning off entering all of the contests I can find on BHG. It’s like my Zen morning practice. Hot Dunkin Donuts coffee in one hand, and a big wellspring of hope and optimism all about me. Someone’s gotta win, they say. Might as well be me. Or you, as the case may be.

So get that bridal luck going, start or end your day with contest-entering, and hey, let me know where you’re finding great contests so that I can get YOU mentioned in the acknowledgments of my new book!

Visit my site at www.sharonnaylor.net and follow me at @sharonnaylorwed where my greatest sweepstakes finds will be posted! Good luck!

Chapter 4

Creating Guest Lists

 In This Chapter

 * Who makes the list

 * Guest list subtlety

 * Avoiding overlap

The big question when it comes to planning wedding weekend events is who do we invite? Hosts get very nervous about the possibility of paying for many more guests than they can easily afford, not wanting to leave anyone out of a fun wedding weekend get-together. But as you’ll see in this chapter, you don’t have to invite everyone who’s invited to the wedding to your party, and – further saving you – it’s quite common for multiple events to take place at the same time, hosted by other people for their own groups. So you can certainly plan an event with an exclusive, VIP guest list for a smaller group if you wish…or you can be one of the hosts who does extend an open invitation for all.

 In this chapter, you’ll explore the Do’s and Don’ts related to guest lists for wedding weekend parties and outings, starting with the first and most important one: always consult with the bride and groom for their approval of your guest list, so that you don’t ruin any event they’d like to plan for themselves.

Who Makes the List

Ideally, any party host will work with the bride and groom – who also consult with parents and other event hosts – to design a coordinated guest list plan for each of the wedding weekend events. The gracious bride and groom will want to be sure that all of their out-of-town guests who are traveling in for the wedding have some fun activities to enjoy, and that their natural groups of friends and relatives will be able to gather at one or more events. So, if you’re neither the bride nor the groom, you’ll check in with the couple as part of a wider planning circle to be sure that events are planned perfectly and inclusive in the manner the couple wishes. It would be terrible for the bride and groom if a close friend was not invited to a Friends-Only cocktail party or if a cousin was not invited to a family get-together.

Here’s an issue that’s going to be a factor: do you only invite out-of-town guests, or do you also invite in-town and otherwise local friends? “We originally planned a pizza party for just the out-of-town friends,” says Sarah, a friend of the bride’s, “But when local friends heard that our college friends would be coming over that night, they wanted to come to…to get time to hang out with friends they haven’t seen in years. I could totally understand that. They wanted social time with our Chicago and L.A. friends, and I didn’t want to cost them that, so we just ordered a few more pizzas and let them come.” Sarah said that the additional friends she invited did bring bottles of wine and six-packs of beer to the party, so she was helped a bit in that department, too.

***Watch Out!***

While most people will bring a bottle of wine or six pack, or food or desserts, to a party as a matter of being a proper and gracious guest, don’t depend on it. Party hosts who think, “Well, people will bring wine, so we don’t have to buy any” have made terrible errors in judgment when everyone brought cookie trays, or brought nothing at all, leaving the hosts without a good supply of drinks for their party.

*****

 A natural group may be very well-defined, such as all of your college friends and their spouses/significant others, leaving you with very little concern about guest list for your friends-only party. A get-together with your siblings and cousins also has a ‘circle’ aspect, removing any concern. For any cross-over guests, such as siblings who would be invited to your party and also to the parents’, for instance, it is okay for them or other guests to get two invitations and then decide how to divide their time between the two parties. So don’t stress about inviting someone if they’re also invited elsewhere.

 Another solution: you can invite two distinct ‘groups,’ such as close friends and the cousins, just as the parents might invite their close relatives and their close friends to their own hosted cocktail party.

 Now, here are some important guest list trends related to the different, most common wedding weekend events:

 The Rehearsal Dinner

For the past few years, it became a trend to invite all out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner, but that’s not the case anymore. In more financially flush years, wedding hosts could afford to double their rehearsal dinner guest list, but in the past few years, they’ve gone back to the original model of inviting just immediate family, the bridal party and their guests, the officiant and his or her guest, child attendants and their parents and those who would take part in the ceremony, plus their dates. That’s it.

 Since hosts do want to be sure that out-of-town guests are well provided for, they may arrange for a cocktail party to take place at the hotel – starting later in the evening – for those guests, and the bride and groom and others then head over to that party after the rehearsal dinner ends. Look at Chapter 8 for full planning details on the Rehearsal Dinner itself.

 The Morning-After Breakfast

The current trend is to host this morning-after breakfast just for the guests who are staying in the hotel. The bridal party may of course be invited, as is immediate family, but you do not have to invite other locals nor the officiant.

 The After-Party

It’s now become a trend to extend the celebration after the reception is done, and that often sends the bride, groom and their close friends and relatives to the hotel bar or lounge for drinks later in the evening. This can be a planned event with invitations sent, or a spontaneous “Hey, let’s keep the party going!” natural progression. Whoever wishes to join the group may do so. But if you wish to host this after-party in your hotel suite or at your home, it’s a trend to invite just the bride and groom’s closest friends from near and far, plus hand-picked relatives such as close cousins and others who make the bride- and groom-approved VIP list.

Parents now tend to plan an After-Party at their homes, inviting their friends and close relatives, with the guest list up to them.

***Steal My Party Idea***

“We invited our friends and close relatives to our after-party, and we also invited the groom’s parents and his relatives of our generation since they came in from out of town, and we wanted to include them and get to know them better. It was a lovely evening for all!” – Mathilde, mother of the bride

***

Guest List Subtlety Smarts

Since it may turn out that not all guests will be invited to all wedding weekend parties, it’s important to practice good diplomacy and subtlety about the events. When you send out an Evite, the people who are invited will be listed on the invitation page, and their responses will be seen by all there…in that private invitation group. So keep your messaging there, not on Facebook or on your Twitter where all others can see mentions of your party…and where those who are not invited can see them as well, with feelings hurt and awkward messages then sent.

It is okay to let guests know that they’re part of an exclusive group invited to the event, and you do appreciate their discretion. How is this done? Add a line to your sent invitation: “We’re excited to see you at this private, exclusive party for (bride) and (groom.)” gets the message across well. And for invitations going out to close friends, you can use a dash of directness and a splash of humor: “Shhhh! This is a private, exclusive party, so please message us directly, not via Facebook or other social sites. We don’t want people crashing :] Thank you!”

Etiquette-Friendly: If you’ll allow guests to bring a date, you can use the wedding-oriented etiquette addressing of ‘Susan Jones and Guest’ to let Susan know that she can bring a date. If you’d like to limit the +1s to guests whose significant others are known to you – which is a smart way to limit your guest list, address the invitation to ‘Susan Jones and Carl Anderson.’ If no guest is invited, even if others are bringing their significant others, then the invitation just reads ‘Susan Jones.’ If anyone asks if they can bring a date, it’s up to you to allow that (if you’ve had some Regrets come in and have the room) or simply say, “I wish I could allow everyone to bring dates, but I have big space and budget restrictions. I’m sorry, but there will be lots of other people there without dates, and you’ll have a fantastic time with everyone!”

 Another subtlety strategy is to send out invitations to the After-Party a few days before the wedding, not months before. Limiting the amount of time for word to get out often works wonderfully. As does noting on your days-prior Evite the wording: “Shhh! This is a private party, and you’re a VIP guest! We can’t invite everyone, so this fete is hush-hush!”

Avoiding Guest List Overlap and Other Problems

Again, always clear your wished-for guest list with the bride and groom before you mention your party or send out invitations. Even though it can work out fine for some guests to get two or more invitations for simultaneous parties, you never want the wedding couple to feel like you stole their thunder during their wedding weekend by planning your own party to attract their friends and guests, or prevent them from the plans they had in mind. I can’t emphasize that enough. Some party hosts have canceled their planned get-togethers when they found out that the bride and groom wanted to plan their own day-after event. It’s their weekend, after all.

With guest list overlap handled now, your next focus will be on other guest list issues. For instance, what do you do if you get a call, e-mail, text or IM from someone who isn’t on your party guest list but wants to come anyway? That’s a huge etiquette minefield in weddings as a whole, and your party is no different. And it’s become a bigger problem now that guests seem to be nervier than ever, feeling entitled to invite themselves or bring a guest when no guest was invited…and parents too are extending invitations to others’ parties without getting permission first! Yes, manners are not as much of a value now as they used to be, it seems, and as party host you may run into a few ill-mannered people who will get on your list one way or another….or so they plan.

 “Can I Come?”

We start with those who ask, sweetly and innocently, perhaps without any intentions of manipulating or perhaps with manipulative intentions. No matter the background, the fact remains: you’ve received a note or call from someone who wants into your party.

Earlier, you learned the diplomatic response about your limited space and budget if that person can’t be invited…or if inviting that person would lead to a chain of additional ‘must invites.’ So it goes with the dreaded ‘group think’ of party invitations, that you can’t invite Sally without also inviting Jill, Jane and Jennifer.

If you get that “Can I come?” message, again, you can say Yes if you have the space and food needed, to avoid the hassle and drama of trying to gently let this person down. And as a second tier of solution for the pseudo-friend who wants to join the group – perhaps someone whose presence isn’t wanted due to dramas she has cooking with other friends on the list, or whose sloppy drunkenness always wrecks a party – a good response is this: “I’m so sorry to have to say No, but we’ll see you at the wedding!” I’ve found that when you don’t give an excuse to a pushy person, they have nothing to grab onto and fight you with. If you were to say, “I don’t have enough food,” for instance (not that that’s a good reason to give), that pushy person might say, “Oh, I can bring a platter of my famous meatballs!” or “I’ll eat beforehand!” That would lead you into the next downward spiral of this conversation with her. A simple No, and then changing the subject works best.

 “Can I Bring Someone?”

Some people can’t go to a party without bringing a date. True, some have social anxieties or don’t know anyone else invited and it would be a comfort level for them. And some don’t want to be the only single there, while others want to show off the hot date they’re able to attract. The bottom line is that the pushy request adds another person to your list, another person to feed and supply with drinks, another body in the room.

The solution to this is the blanket answer: “No, I’m sorry, but I don’t have the room for everyone to bring dates. I wanted to be sure all the bride and groom’s friends could be there, so this party will just be for our circle only, plus a few boyfriends and fiancés that the couple knows.” The magic in this response is that you’ve just pre-empted the future drama of this guest seeing that other guests have dates at the party, which could otherwise turn into a larger-than-expected crisis later on when she whines about this to the bride.

 Etiquette-Friendly: If a guest responds that he or she is bringing a date, you’re not stuck. Their bad etiquette leads to your next step of proper etiquette in calling this person to say, “I received your RSVP with your Plus-One, and I have to let you know that I had to make it a rule that no one brings a date except for very few close couple friends of the bride and groom. So, I’m sorry you can’t bring (random guy she added to her RSVP), or everyone at the party is going to be angry with me. Can’t make exceptions, and I’m sure you understand. But I’m so excited to see you at the party!” Done!

“Can I Bring My Kids?”

Also in the category of today’s nervy guests are the ones who see the bride and groom’s weekend as their own chance to show off their kids to their friends, or – less cynically – as their chance to have family and friends meet their kids for the first time. Regardless of intention or nerviness levels, you’re the party host, and if guests start requesting to bring their little ones, you’re going to have to make your house child-friendly and provide a kid-friendly menu. That is, if you choose to allow guests to bring their little ones.

Some wedding weekend events are quite kid-friendly, such as trips to museums, festivals, ballgames or the beach, and others – such as cocktail parties at your home – are less so. So assess your party’s style, because it might just be a good thing if you allow friends to bring their kids. Your original plan to have a college friend get-together might just become a more joyous event when everyone has their babies and toddlers with them.

If you’re not amenable to any guests bringing their kids along, it’s more than okay for you to respond with, “I’m sorry, I’ve already told lots of guests that this is an Adults-Only cocktail party, a relaxing night out without the kids.” What you might hear, in a parent’s well-used method of squeaking by the masses, is that they cannot find a sitter, or that they’re not comfortable going out without their child. This is a tough one, and few hosts feel comfortable saying, “Well, then, we’ll miss you!”

***Steal My Party Idea ***

“We had so many guests saying they couldn’t find a sitter, and we were put in a tough place because of that. But what we did was hire a pair of local teen babysitters to work our party, taking all the kids downstairs to our rec room to entertain them while the adults had a cocktail party upstairs. We got the kids a pizza and cut it into little squares, plus a few other kid food items and cookies, gave the sitter a stack of kid movies to put on the TV, and the little ones had a party of their own downstairs where their parents could just go check on them from time to time. It worked out really well.” – Jenni, bridesmaid

***

 Cancellations

It happens at every party, and also at every wedding. Event coordinators say that it’s smart to expect 3% of guests to be no-shows, or to cancel at the last minute. When your party or outing date gets closer and guests start calling to say they can’t make it, it’s one of those things that can’t be avoided. The one warning I have for you is that it’s not proper to tell cancellers that they have to pay for the ticket they won’t be using. Just accept the cancellation gracefully and go to your B-list of anyone who might like to join in. If it’s the night before the event, maybe a close friend would like to invite a date. Maybe a teen would like to bring the friend she originally asked to bring. Don’t worry about people being offended that they’re a last-second invite…you never know who will be thrilled to get your call.

Etiquette-Friendly: When you do make the call to a last-minute invitee, play down the fact that you’re calling because someone on your a-list just cancelled. Just extend the invitation with a simple, “Would you like to join our group that’s going to see (comedian) at the comedy club?” The less you make of the issue, the better.

Cancellations for events that required a ticket, such as a concert, comedy performance, sporting event, museum entrance or other ticketed show, present a challenge. If the person pre-paid for their ticket and now cancelled, what do you do about refunds? It’s a gracious move to offer the canceller his or her money back. They may accept, or they may tell you not to worry about it. That does happen.

Now you have an open ticket. If you have a friend who will join at the last minute, you can decide if you’ll ask that person to pay, or – as many hosts do – pick up the cost yourself. Some hosts give the last-minute guest a big discount on the ticket, recouping some of their money.

What’s not okay is standing outside the theater with your whole group, trying to scalp that extra ticket.

 If you’re still considering which type of wedding weekend event to plan, and a ticketed event is on your possibilities list, think about this…how will you handle cancellations and refunds? If you create a list of go-to add-on guests, you might find it to be a non-issue. If the idea of picking up the cost of one or more unused tickets unpleasant, maybe a ticketed event is not the best idea for you.

As for non-ticket events, again, cancellations happen, and the party goes on as planned!

HERE COME THE “BRIDES OF BEVERLY HILLS”
NEW TLC SERIES TO PREMIERE OCTOBER 28TH

(Los Angeles, CA) — TLC expands its fan-favorite wedding programming with the extravagant new series, The Brides of Beverly Hills, premiering on October 28th at 10 and 10:30 pm. The series gives an inside look into the hearts – and wallets – of Beverly Hills’ over-the-top brides. Receiving its US premiere, the series consists of 13 30-minute episodes, which will air back-to-back over the course of 10 weeks.

Set in the stunning salon of Renee Strauss, the series follows as she and her wedding-savvy crew, including a wedding planner straight out of Father of the Bride – Kevin Lee, pamper the most discerning of clients. Beverly Hills is not your average neighborhood, and its brides-to-be are no exception. Clientele range from old money to new socialites; some arrive under a pseudonym while others bring their whole entourage.  Certain brides demand the highest glitz while others opt for gentle elegance. Through it all, the champagne flows, as do tears, laughs, and quirky tales about the clients’ star-studded lives. More than finding the perfect dress, Strauss and her team help transform the biggest dreams and unlimited budgets into a bride’s perfect day.

“TLC is the destination for wedding programming, and Brides of Beverly Hills builds on the popularity of Say Yes to the Dress, Four Weddings, and our other successful series,” remarked Amy Winter, TLC General Manager. “These brides and Renee’s business can only be found in one of the most talked-about towns in the country, and we know our audience will love this insider’s look at this premier wedding boutique.”

Brides of Beverly Hills is produced by Planetworks.

About TLC
TLC is a global brand that celebrates extraordinary people and relatable life moments through innovative nonfiction programming. A top 10 cable network for women, TLC has built successful franchises around the Cake Boss, Say Yes to the Dress and Police Women brands. In the first half of 2011, TLC had 23 series averaging 1.0 million viewers or more including Extreme Couponing, Sister Wives, 19 Kids and Counting, What Not To Wear, and Kate Plus 8. TLC is available in more than 99 million homes in the US and 75 million households in 34 countries internationally. A destination online, TLC.com offers in-depth fan sites, exclusive video content, and original editorial covering style, home, food, and more. Fans can also interact with TLC via On Demand services, on mobile platforms, including an iPhone App, and through social media such as Facebook or @TLC on Twitter. TLC is part of Discovery Communications (NASDAQ: DISCA, DISCB, DISCK), the world’s number one nonfiction media company reaching more than 1.5 billion cumulative subscribers in over 210 countries and territories.

Link – http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/brides-of-beverly-hills-kevin-lee.html

It’s time for me to share another freebie wedding book chapter with you! I’m all about the freebies and the discounts, and since my Kindle book The Smart Guide to Wedding Weekend Events is on the market right now, just waiting to help you plan great guest-pleasing events like barbecues, softball tournaments, spa days and more, I thought I’d give you a little Tuesday treat:

Chapter 3 

Formality Mix

 In This Chapter

* Comfort Issues

* Money Issues

* Etiquette Issues

The best wedding weekends feature events in a range of formalities, giving guests the chance to enjoy both dressed-to-the-nines, upscale occasions and more relaxed, informal get-togethers. Brides and grooms say that an array of formalities allows them to enjoy the best of both worlds as well. If, for instance, their budget allowed for a less formal wedding such as a casual beach or backyard celebration, they can still look forward to a formal, dress-up rehearsal dinner. If the wedding will be formal or ultra-formal, they can look forward to casual parties where they can wear jeans (or bathing suits) in laid-back ease.

In this chapter, you’ll explore the benefits of planning events in a range of formalities, looking as well at the budget break that may be achieved through less formal styles of parties and outings.

“We wanted our wedding to stand out as the most formal part of the weekend,” says Tasha, a recent bride. “We didn’t have the budget to go way over the top for our wedding plans, and we didn’t want anyone else’s party to outshine our reception. So we planned, and requested from other hosts, only super-informal events around it. Casual food, little to no décor, just iPod music at those parties so that everything we planned for our day would be more impressive and special to us. It worked out perfectly.”

Clearly, not outshining the bride and groom’s wedding is of the utmost importance. While it is true that some brides and grooms agree to a parent hosting a formal rehearsal dinner – with upscale everything, including lavish décor, caviar and champagne – when their wedding reception plans are far more reserved, that situation is likely planned in express agreement between the couple and the parents. If you’re neither of these two, always consult with the bride and groom about their wished-for formality and party style, even if it is your home and your money involved.

Watch Out!

Brides and grooms don’t like surprises. You might think it would delight them if you were to tell them you’re planning a casual barbecue, then surprise them with a formal, elegant, tented party with $300 floral arrangements, filet mignon, lobster tails and Cristal® — because they deserve it – such a grand gesture could create a vortex of hurt feelings. Perhaps the couple’s parents wish they could afford such a grand scale of party, and they may feel like you’re showing them up, or showing off your home and entertaining prowess. It may sound ridiculous that your surprise would be taken this way, but emotions are heightened and tensions high during a wedding weekend, and egos may be easily bruised. So make it a rule: clear your true party plans with the bride and groom before you take any steps in planning your event.

Comfort issues

 Spotlight-stealing aside, one of the main reasons to provide some informal events during the wedding weekend is that most guests feel more comfortable when they can dress casually and enjoy comfort foods, as opposed to the which-fork-should-I-use pressures of an ultra-formal event. There’s something freeing about dressing down, wearing flats, drinking straight from a beer bottle and snacking on pigs in a blanket, and guests also enjoy the free-to-roam style of a barbecue or cocktail party as opposed to a formal, sit-down dinner.

 More relaxed, informal social events facilitate mingling, picture-taking, and joking around, providing the perfect balance in a wedding weekend that may include one, two or perhaps three formal events. So which are the top informal events to blend into the weekend’s schedule? Here they are:

* Backyard barbecue and pool party

* At-home dinner, served buffet style

* Tours and outings to festivals and cultural events

* Movie night, at the theater or at home

* Spa and pampering party — (It doesn’t get more laid-back that that!)

You might think that it’s the women who enjoy socializing with Spanx and high heels, but men are equally pleased at the chance to avoid wearing a suit, tie and formal shoes. And not to be forgotten, child guests tend to behave better when they’re wearing comfortable clothes as opposed to dresses and tights or suits.

Money issues

A formal party almost always requires additional expenditures, due to a more upscale menu that can include lobster, clams, shrimp, filet mignon and the like, as well as grand floral centerpieces and additional décor, entertainment, pricy invitations, favors and other accoutrements. I say almost always because it is possible to plan a high-budget informal party, such as a backyard barbecue with a grill menu including bacon-wrapped filet mignon, chicken breasts, stuffed portabello mushrooms, ten different sides and three different desserts, plus a massive collection of imported beers and wines. You can certainly go high budget at an informal style of party, but it’s a bit more challenging to go low-budget at a formal event.

An informal get-together may be catered with budget-friendly platters purchased at Costco or WalMart, or with two-for-one pizzas, which is a strong selling point for those who choose to host informal wedding weekend events.

And of course, some informal events such as softball games at the park or trips to the beach come with no pricetag at all, which might move this type of event to the top of your possibilities list.

Etiquette issues

 Again, you never want to outshine any event that the bride and groom have planned, or that has been planned by the parents. Call that Etiquette Rule #1.

Etiquette Rule #2 is letting guests know about the styles of wedding weekend events, so that they can pack their clothing, shoes and accessories well. For instance, if you tell guests that an event is a trip into the city to tour a museum, you need to tell them that lunch will be at a nearby nice restaurant, and provide the restaurant’s URL and a note saying, “The restaurant has a no-jeans policy, so do dress accordingly.” People will know from that to wear a skirt or nice pants and a sweater for this particular outing.

If you’ll host a pool party or trip to the beach, let guests know to pack their and their kids’ bathing suits. If a sporting event, such as a softball game, is on the schedule, guests need to know to pack clothes and sports shoes they can play in.

If you’ll host an outing to a nightclub, guests need to know to pack a little black dress or other ‘going out’ clothes and shoes. If the hotel brunch is formal enough to have a no-jeans rule, guests need to know. If the rehearsal dinner restaurant requires men to wear jackets and ties, guests need to know. You’ll convey these dress code Musts in your e-mailed or printed invitations that you send to the guests invited to each event. It’s considered an Etiquette Don’t to leave dress code information off of any wedding weekend event invitation.

Finally, Etiquette Rule #3 is letting guests know if they will be responsible for paying for any event tickets, cover charges, or other expenses associated with the event. Normally, the host pays all expenses, but if your group always splits the tab at a bar, or if friends have already said they’d love to go to that concert and are happy to pay their own way so that it can happen, always remind them via invitation that some charges will be their responsibility.

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Win my prize collection: I donated a one-hour consultation with me for personalized help with your wedding vows, toasts and plans, plus some of my newest wedding books, including Bridesmaid on a Budget, It’s My Wedding Too, and The Mother of the Bride Book  — plus 5 Kodak one-time-use cameras and an Envirosax celebrity-fave water bottle.

Those auction items and so much more can be yours with a simple the click of a mouse.

Wish Upon a Wedding is the world’s first nonprofit organization that provides weddings & vow renewals to couples facing terminal illness and other serious life-altering situations, regardless of sexual orientation. With over 20 chapters across the country, the organization has granted 30 wishes since launching in January of 2010.

From September 15th til October 31st, auction doors will be open to bidders across the nation in the largest charity wedding event of its kind!  —  and we hope to help Wish Upon a Wedding raise funds to enhance their current programming.

The best part? All winning bids are donations to Wish Upon a Wedding.  Your participation will help the organization make wedding wishes come true for terminally ill individuals across the nation.

Featuring hundreds of high-end and unique experiences from the industry’s finest, Bid Your Wish for Wedded Bliss has previously been hailed as  a luxury shopping experience like no other, drawing thousands of savvy bidders from coast to coast.

With many items starting at just $50, hundreds of amazing wedding deals await the lucky couples who visit the auction.

Thank you!

We want to thank you for your support and for believing in our mission!  Have fun bidding in the auctions, and be sure to pick up something fun for your loved ones, too!

 

http://www.shopfirstdate.com/products/morse-code-necklaces takes you to the page where you can see all of Shop First Date’s Morse Code necklace messages, and win the ‘Love’ necklace (retail value $36) by posting your Comment here, telling us about the wonderful things your bridesmaids and maid of honor are doing to support you and make your wedding season even more fabulous!

I’ll pick the winner on 8/31!

And wait…it’s a double-giveaway! I’ll also pick the winner of a signed copy of my new book, Bridesmaid on a Budget!

Check out my bestselling books for the Moms — you’ll find all of your etiquette questions answered, style tips, party ideas, budget smarts, and how to work with the bride and groom, setting yourself up for a happier future with them!

Get them here: www.sharonnaylor.net, on Amazon, at Barnes & Noble or anywhere books are sold!

Moms, send your questions to me here, and I can give you tips!

Oh, and here’s a little free look into Bridesmaid on a Budget! Check out these stats!

Bridesmaid Market Overview, from www.theweddingreport.com: In 2009, bridesmaids will spend an estimated $9.61 billion. Results from our recent bridesmaid study concluded there are an average 4.3 bridesmaids per wedding accounting for an estimated 9.53 million bridesmaids spending $9.61 billion. A single bridesmaid will spend $1,069-$1,269 on dress to travel.

Here’s the Breakdown of national averages spent by bridesmaids:

Bachelorette Party Expenses $152

Bridal Shower Gift $72

Bridal Shower Plans $60 to $200 per bridesmaid

Bridesmaid Accessories $52

Bridesmaid Dress $178

Bridesmaid Dress Alterations $56

Shoes $49

Hair Styling $65

Manicure (plus tips) $32

Pedicure $30

Outfit for Rehearsal Dinner $71

Plane Fare $303

Hotel (per night) $140

Rental Car (per day) $88

Wedding Gift from Bridesmaid $117

And these are the national average figures, combining the sky-high prices of the Northeast with the more moderate prices of the South and the MidWest. If you’re a southern woman, you might look at that $32 for a manicure figure and laugh in disbelief. If you’re a New York City or Boston woman, $32 might get you very, very excited and Googling to see where you can get a manicure for that low price.

No matter how the individual expenses stack up per category, you’re looking at a cash outlay of about $1,000. More or less. And in this economy, with where you are in life – maybe just graduating college or still in school and eating Ramen noodles, recently married and buying your own first home, struggling to make ends meet in a frustrating and low-paying job that drives you crazy but you’d still hate to get laid off anytime soon – that’s a lot of money to devote to anything.

“$1,000? That’s two rent payments,” says one bridesmaid, whose bliss bubble has burst after a week of being named to a bridal party. “It’s going to be tough to come up with that kind of cash.”

“My boyfriend is already paying most of the bills in our apartment,” says another bridesmaid. “He knows I’ve said Yes to being in the bridal party, but I’m already anxious about each check I’m going to have to write for my friend’s wedding.” And then there’s, “There goes my ski trip!”

But of course, there’s also this: “I know it’s going to cost a lot, but the bride is so very important to me, and this is just a short time of stretching my dollars. So whatever she wants, I’ll find a way.” Kinda want to smack this last one, don’t you? That’s the kind of breezy attitude tossed around by bridesmaids who aren’t living paycheck to paycheck, who have plenty of room on their credit cards, or who have parents who hand out cash like candy on Halloween.

But the truth is, we all have that belief deep inside of us. We love the bride. We’d do anything for her. And we’re trying to balance our money panic with a very real sense of, “It’s worth it.” That’s quite a seesaw, so get your Dramamine ready, because you’re going to be swinging back and forth between the two – money terror and friendly benevolence – until the day you walk down the aisle ahead of her…and maybe for a few months afterward when the credit card bills start rolling in.

What you’ve got here, though, is a handbook of secrets that’s going to cut down on your bridesmaid money terror. Way down. Way, way down. Because you get insider scoop on where to find fabulous bridesmaid’s dresses for a fraction of the national average price. And expert advice on how to throw a stylish shower that only looks expensive, but really costs very little. And…get ready for it….the power to have a say in what you’ll be spending.

Want more? Bridesmaid on a Budget is available now, at www.amazon.com, www.bn.com, www.sharonnaylor.net and more!

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