One of the few things that I remember in the daze of my father’s funeral is that the priest said, “The veil is lifted.” He wasn’t talking about weddings. He was talking about my father’s journey at this point, how all is revealed, that filter that we all live by is removed and you can see what’s real. There is no more truthful statement at this time.
In a time of grief, you see who has your back, who gives from the heart, who speaks words of kindness. New friends are elevated to closer friends. I’m profoundly touched by the loveliness of my new friends in the neighborhood, families we’ve only just met a little more than a year ago who dropped off cards and sent gifts of food, offers for green tea toasts in honor of my Dad. Joe and I are blessed to have so many wonderful people in our life, and they have all made the grief easier to bear.
There is, of course, a parallel to wedding world — the literal lifting of the veil so that the groom sees the bride’s face [in olden days, the groom was checking to make sure he was getting the right bride, not a bait-and-switch]. And in that time, you also bathe in the kindness and love of family and friends. The veil of everyday life is lifted, and you’re shown how full your life is, how lucky you are to be so adored.
Life is good.